there’s nothing better than looking at old self harm scars and thinking ‘fuck yeah, I beat you bitch’
hearing noises again
in my head no
why is this
i dont know fucking bracelt scratching on the fucking thing
fuck fuck fuck
i want to]i dont fucking know there is nothing just typing nad stuff
might be having a breakdown
fuckign spelling and words and everything fuckin fuck everything
fucking mayday parade r making me fuckin sad seeing tjem live
i dont want to ive
no no i do no no no noooooo id on t i do ont
It’s like, nobody fucking gives a shit so, why bother? like, as soon as you feel like someone cares about you they just fuck off again like every other fucker. genuinely can’t stop crying and you don’t even notice. ‘are you okay?’ ‘no nr’ ‘awww :(’ not ‘why?’ or ‘what’s happened?’ not even a drop of concern of sympathy and everything we’ve both been through I would’ve thought there’d be a little more compassion than that really. like, do you even care at all?
You talk to me like absolute shit. You treat me like absolute shit. All I ever do is be there for you and you just throw it all back in my face and I’m fucking sick of it. I can barely even think of a time you’ve been there for me after all the shit I’ve been through. It’s like I don’t even exist to you and we’ve been sharing a room for god knows how many years on and off. You’re really, really selfish you know? It’s like no one else matters but you. You don’t give a shit about anything else but you. How many times have I sat there and talked to you as you cried? How many times have I given you advice even though you don’t fucking listen to me anything? How many time have I BEEN THERE FOR YOU?! Fucking tonnes, that’s the answer. Ask those same questions to you about me and he answer would be probably, about once. I don’t understand how I can mean this little to you after all this time, after being related to you? After being SO close to you, I still feel like I’m not good enough for you. I feel like I shouldn’t even exist right now. Earlier you didn’t want me to go out with you and your friend so you called what you were doing ‘the thing’ so I didn’t know? ‘are we still doing that thing?’ oh seriously? I wouldn’t want to hang out with you and your mates anyway, because they turn you into a right bitch. You treated me like shit tonight and even after all that when you’d been crying I still asked what was up, but did you talk to me? No. You never do anymore, I’m just worthless to you. You really did treat me like shit tonight, and I’ve gotta say I hate you for that right now.
fucking hell you stress me out even now